


Coping

by Ivy_Adair



Series: An All Soul's Day Carol [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angry Cullen, Anti-Mage Cullen, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Cullen Positivity Week 2015, Drabble, Gen, Implied Relationships, Mild Angst, Traumatized Cullen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4227057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivy_Adair/pseuds/Ivy_Adair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prior to her leaving for Amaranthine, Warden Commander Solona Amell visits the mage tower at Kinloch one last time. Freshly traumatized Cullen makes the fateful decision to travel to Kirkwall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coping

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble takes place in the same universe as [An All Soul’s Day Carol ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3412898)(another fic of mine). This piece depicts a post-DAO meeting between Solona Amell and Cullen, as was mentioned in AASDC. This piece is not happy, as Cullen is freshly traumatized. I wanted to depict something realistic and still stick to the theme of DAO with a focus on the relationship between the Warden and Cullen. Also as a general note, I always take my Templar ‘abilities’ from Dragon Age 2′s warrior specialization. Probably because that was the only time I ever played a Templar (because Carver).
> 
>   
>  _This work has not been proofread or edited by anyone other than myself. I acknowledge and apologize for any errors still present._   
> 

The sound of the latch to his chamber shifting shattered the deafening silence in Cullen’s ears. The hinges on his door squealed and screamed as the heavy wooden thing was pushed slowly open. The young Templar remained frozen, watching and thinking of bitter retorts to what he was sure was another Chantry healer asking after his health. He’d been out of Uldred’s prison for some time. In truth, he wasn’t sure how long it’d been. From inside the stone walls of his chamber, he may as well have been living in another world. Days blurred into nights, weeks into months…he may have been in there for years, he wasn’t sure. He had a small window and could watch the journey of the sun, but in this den of evil and trickery, Cullen had to wonder if he could even trust the light that streamed in through the opening in the stone.

The only breaks in the monotony of his day came when the chantry healers poked their heads inside his world. They’d made a mistake in sending a mage healer the first day he’d been out. The mage had barely been able to open his mouth before Cullen had Silenced him and sent him tumbling backwards with a weak cast of his Holy Smite . It was an unspoken fact, whispered amongst the chantry healers that had he been allowed his sword, the mage would be dead. No mages had been allowed near him since.

The door to his chamber cracked open and hair the color of gold appeared around the edge. Cullen opened his mouth to snarl something, but as a face slowly cleared the wood, the words died in his throat.

“Solona?

“Hello Cullen,” she murmured as she stepped inside the room entirely.

He opened his mouth to reply when another figure stepped into the small room, an elf with long blonde hair and a tattoo on his face. For the second time in a few short moments words failed Cullen as he watched the pair move in such synchronization, the sort of dual coordination that only comes with people who are deeply in tuned with each other. Solona stepped further into the room while the elf seemed to glide around its perimeter, as if protecting her…from him. The wide-eyed surprise on Cullen’s face quickly dissipated, in its stead rose a scowl that seemed to be permanently affixed to his features.

“What do you want, Solona?” Cullen asked, unable to meet her piercing gaze.

“I wanted to check on you, make sure you were…coping.”

Cullen guffawed bitterly, “ _coping_ , she says. Oh yes, I’m adjusting quite well to the constant nightmares where I get to see my friends slaughtered over and over again.”

“Yes, the healers said you were plagued with nightmares,” she glanced around his room for a moment before grabbing a small chair at his desk, turning it around and perching herself on it. “I have some experience in that field. Would you like to talk about it?”

“No,” he snarled, “especially not with _you_.”

She sighed, a hand rising to run through the golden strands about her face. “For what ever its worth, Cullen, I am sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Sorry for betraying me, for choosing the side of evil over what should have been done?”

“Is that what you think-”

He interrupted her sharply, “I don’t know why you’ve come here. I want nothing to do with your kind.” He inclined his head towards the elf, “do you have any idea what manner of _creature_ you have aligned yourself with?”

The elf raised an eyebrow. “If by creature you mean a stunningly beautiful woman, then yes, I know quite well,” he replied, his words coated with a thick Antivan accent.

“Mages have proven, time and time again, that they cannot be trusted with their own power,” he snarled, the volume of his voice rising higher. “One day she will be lead into temptation and when that day comes, she will try to kill you.“

Smirking, the elf replied coolly, “Ah, well that would only make us even.”

Cullen shook his head and rolled his eyes, _Antivans_. “Why are you really here, Solona?”

The Warden bit her lip, looking away from him, as if choosing her words carefully. Finally, she turned her piercing gaze back to him and rose from her chair. “I am being sent to Amaranthine. It was awarded to the Wardens after the King Alistair took the throne and I am to serve as Arlessa, at least until I’m needed elsewhere.” She paused, turned away and began to pace. As she spoke, she tapped her fingertips together: “I will be gone a long time, perhaps for good. I wanted to be sure that you were all right before I left. It may be the last time we’ll ever see each other.”

The words were like ice in his veins. Cullen could feel his heart pounding heavier and heavier with each beat. The thought of never seeing Solona again…it didn’t set well with him. He could remember when she left for the Wardens and the feeling then had been as if his heart had been forcibly ripped out of his chest. If he was honest with himself he knew he still loved her, Maker damn him. It was foolish, shameful to feel that way about a mage. The rumors had already begun to spread amongst the surviving Templars, he knew. His thoughts were interrupted as he watched the Antivan elf slide his hand on to Solona’s shoulder. Her face turned upwards, her expression open and honest as she smiled at the elf. Then her hand rose, covering his and Cullen realized all at once, as if someone had just dropped a very large bucket of water over him, that the elf and Solona were not merely traveling companions and confidants, but lovers. As Solona turned her head, Cullen noted a large jeweled earring hanging from her ear. Mages weren’t allowed jewelry, nor was Solona the sort of woman to buy a bauble for herself.

The last few remnants of warmth and affection for the creature in front of him died, burning to ashes underneath the weight of his fiery anger. She’d betrayed him, again. He rose to his feet and snarled, “good. I hope I never lay eyes on you again, _mage_.”

Solona recoiled as if she’d been slapped. Shaking her head bitterly, she rose to her feet and turned for the door, but paused and glanced back at Cullen.

“I’m sorry you went through that torment with Uldred, Cullen; but, I’ll never apologize for saving every innocent life I could. One day, maybe you’ll understand that.”

Cullen swallowed, but said nothing as he watched his two visitors step out of the room. As the heavy wooden door clicked into place behind them, he felt his body loosen and finally let go. He roared a mournful sound, straight from his belly and took the chair Solona had been seated in and threw it across the room. It clattered into the opposite stone wall and shattered. He collapsed back on to his bed and held his face in his hands, fighting down the body-wracking sobs that were threatening to erupt.

After he stilled, Cullen rose and opened the door to his chamber. To one of the guards on duty he said, “Tell the Knight-Commander that I’ve decided to accept the transfer to Kirkwall and wish to leave as soon as possible.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this silly thing. I don't think I'm going to be able to hit every day this week, but I got a couple of things planned. I have an essay written for tomorrow which I may or may not post. If I do post, it will be on tumblr only as its extremely personal. 
> 
> If you're not on Tumblr and have no idea whats going on, a bunch of Cullen fans got together and started a 'Cullen Positivity Week' to celebrate the character. You can join the fun, just check out [the tumblr](http://cullen-positivity-week.tumblr.com/).
> 
> And as always, you can find me on MY [tumblr](http://dear-miss-adair.tumblr.com). Thanks so much.


End file.
